~You are Beautifully and Wonderfully made~

Testimony

2012-01-15T22:57:00.000-08:00

Ok everyone, here is the testimony I promised to post! Its kind of long but it is what the Lord wanted me to share! My prayer is that wile i am away this next year, God will use this blog to help change someones life! I don't know who you are, but if you're reading this I hope that it opens your eyes to how Great our God is and how much He truly loves you!! Enjoy!

Something I have been working on the last 2 months is believing Gods best for me in His word. Believing that He has a plan in place for my life and believing what He says about me is true. Seeing myself as “beautifully and wonderfully made” or “perfect in his imagine just the way He made me to be.” In our society looks are taking over everything, from Tv to billboards to magazines. Our perception of what is healthy or beautiful is distorted!

For the last 5 years I have been battling an eating disorder on and off. It wasn’t until this last year that I felt I couldn’t take it anymore but I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid that the control I thought I had would be taken away. In reality I had no control anyways. I was loosing weight and loved getting complements all the time, it made me feel good about myself, even though I still hated myself for what I was doing! Things started going downhill fast and then 2 months ago happened.

A word I want you to remember today is Repentance! Its durable and brings about Gods kingdom in your midst, it’s the key to the abundant life full of grace that God desires for us.

Repentance means to change ones mind because of the consequences of sin. Or a change of mind consequent to the after knowledge indicating regret for the course perused and resulting in a wiser view of the past and the future. To regret because of the consequences of ones act or acts to comprehend. We repent not because we are in trouble but because we have a wiser view of the past and future. We comprehend our actions; we choose to change our minds to agree with Gods word and to believe Gods word and what He says.

In my case I have recently repented and am choosing to place myself where God is and trying and see what He sees in me rather then what I see in the mirror or what the world sees in me. I am choosing to change my mind, to agree with Gods word and to believe what His word says. This hasn’t been easy! Its taken a lot of wrong turns to get to this point but I am happy to say that I am thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally and always takes me back no matter what!

2 ½ years ago I stood up here and told my testimony.. The story of my life and how God was molding me into the beautiful creation that He made me to be. Through the good times and bad, but to be quite honest I thought this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Admitting that I was not perfect and had a lot of things to work though! So I thought.. Little did I know I was about to encounter trials that would make standing up here seem like nothing. Well the mane reason why I wanted to talk to you today is because I want you to know how great our God is! I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and everything I’ve faced in my life is going to be used for the glory of God! All things working together for good not bad!

I don’t know what needs to be said today but I am trusting that whatever comes out of my mouth is from the Lord and needs to be spoken to you. I don’t know what you are struggling with or your life circumstances but I do know that we serve a mighty God! A God who is forever understanding, forgiving, comforter, a shelter from the storm, a resting place and a foundation beneath our feat!

Today I turned 22 and honestly a couple of months ago I didn’t even know if I would make it to this day.. I’ve never felt so low in my life… I would wear a smile on my face but those who really new me could see it in my eyes.. They could see that I wasn’t alright, that I didn’t want to be alive anymore. Hiding behind a smile only did so much.. And the little that it did do wasn’t anything good! I lied to my family at home so they wouldn’t worry about me but then it got to the point that I was scared for my life.. I was confused. I wanted to be alive but I didn’t. Deep down I was broken and trying to cling with all I had to the hope I have in the Lord. The hope that He would never give me more then I could handle., but on the surface of it all I didn’t think I would last another night.. Every day I would say “Taylor you just have to make it through today.. just make it past this 1 minute, you can do this!!” I new I didn’t have the courage to actually take my own life but I didn’t want to test the waters! I was hardly eating anything and couldn’t sleep, I was restless and didn’t know what to do! Being on the ledge is not a fun place to be, technically speaking. But The Lord is bringing freedom, healing, comfort and wisdom through all of this!

Around the middle of October I decided I would check myself into a hospital so that I would have a sense of security knowing that I would be safe there! This was one of the newly discovered hard things I never thought I would have to do; yet God was with me through it all! He placed amazing people in my life that would be willing to sit there, wait, listen, and support me! No matter how hard it was for me or them.. At first I felt completely ashamed that I was going to a hospital for suicidal thoughts and an eating disorder but I knew I had to protect myself and if that is what it took then I was going to do it! One thing I have learned is that this is not something to be ashamed of! In the moment wile I was going through it, yes I felt ashamed but now as I look back I now know that God intended for me to go there! It gave me a great opportunity to get to know others who were struggling with similar situations and it opened the door for me to share with them my faith in the Lord. I prayed over a young girl who is schizophrenic and then the next day lead a bible study which resulted in a bible study the next 2 nights as well.. Yes I was struggling.. yes I was in a hospital because of it.. But was God still able to use me?? YES! It is because of our obedience in Christ that allows Him to use us in every single circumstance we face in our daily lives. DO NOT count yourself at loss because you feel lost, broken, alone, afraid, it is when we are weak that He is STRONG! HE IS STRONG! Not us! But it is Christ in us that pulls us through the hard times! We cannot get through this life without Christ and I promise you that if it wasn’t for Him I would not be alive right now! It is because of my hope in Him that I can stand up here today and tell you how great he truly is!

When I got out of the hospital I was at school only for 3 full days until my parents made the decision to have me come home! Here is another very difficult thing I thought I would never have to encounter. My goal was to survive to the end of the semester! Just 6 weeks more, and here I was being told that I was flying home the next day, without a choice in the matter. I felt abandoned, alone, afraid, lost, broken, helpless, as if everything I have worked for was now gone.. But what I didn’t realize was how bad off I really was.. At this point I could hardly walk on my own and was passing out. I could hardly go an hour without having a panic attack; I would have never made it to the end of the semester! I realize that now, not then!

Now I want you to see where I am headed with this! God HAS a plan for your life!! It may not line up with your plan but just because it doesn’t match doesn’t mean it wont work. Chances are if you just let Him lead, you will be much better off! My plan was to last till the end of the semester; Gods plan was for me to come home! Because I obeyed and came home I had more free time to spend with the Lord. Because I came home I was able to rest and focus on healing spiritually, mentally and physically and began to enjoy the things I loved again such as playing the piano!

This next year will mark a victory in my life! I am taking on a challenge that I thought I would never have to take on, but you know what? God is faithful and good and He has a plan that is far greater then any plan I could ever put together! I’ve trusted and waited on Him and His timing and because I have I will be spending the Next year living on a farm in NH. I will be going to a facility called His Mansion! A Christ centered residential treatment center that will help me find freedom in Christ from all the issues I’ve experienced or have had to deal with in that last couple of years. God has truly opened up the doors for me to go to this place and I honestly had my doubts.. I thought I wasn’t good enough to go.. I thought that maybe I wasn’t sick.. that it was all in my head.. In a sense that is correct. It is all in my head but wile I’m away Ill learn how to let the Lord lead and how to surrender my pain, fears, anger and whatever other emotion satin can use to trap me and Ill find freedom in the Lord! This place is free to anyone 18-35 years of age and is there to help young men and women find healing through the Lord in a community like environment.

It is because of the Grace of God that I am saved and it is because of my faith in the Lord that allows me to stand up here today! A friend of mine once told me “Taylor If satin didn’t see you as a threat then why would he be trying so hard to get rid of you?” I have no idea what Gods plan is for my life but I surrender it all to Him! Because I’ve done this I can sleep peacefully at night now.. Not dreading the fact that I have to wake up in the morning, but celebrating the new day that I have been blessed to have so that maybe I can be used to change someone’s life. Yes I have been through a lot in my life but I wouldn’t change a thing about it, because God HAS a plan and as long as you obey and follow Him, trusting that He knows what He is doing, then everything will work out great! Far greater then anything you could possibly imagine!

“I want to be the kind of person that when my feat hit the floor each morning, satin yells “OH NO!!! SHE’S AWAKE!!!”

As I go through this next year I am going to build up into this kind of person! Yes I know I will fall along the way but I am not perfect. None of us are! That is something I’ve been trying really hard to comprehend, that I am not perfect and I do mess up. Wile I am away I will not have Internet or my cell phone.. But I can receive mail! I have with me cards that have the address on it so if anyone would care to write me wile I am away please feel free to pick one up! Your support and encouragement is greatly needed and appreciated! I can’t get through this alone but we can get through it together as a body of Christ! With that being said I would like to end with this statement and verse.

Your circumstances may not be what you envisioned, but they are no obstacle for God. Paul learned that God was fully capable to reveal Himself, not only in the expected places, but in that which was unexpected as well. Paul wrote, But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place (2 Cor 2:14). As you exercise your faith, as you rest, trusting in Him, do what Christ would do in your circumstances. Unbelief will flee as you become Christlike in the crisis. God will turn your setback into a setup that releases destiny.

Thank you!

With Lots of Love

P.s- As I mentioned in my last post, NO MORE SECRETS! God has given me a testimony to share and as far as I am concerned, I want it to be used for the Glory of God! I am done hiding and living in fear or shame! I am going to find freedom from my pain! I PROMISE, because God is faithful and knows the desires of my heart! 1 year from now ill be back here with LOTS of glorious stories to share of my adventures with the Lord!

Until Next Time!

Peace! =)

3 Days In Counting!

2012-01-13T22:27:00.000-08:00

Hello my lovely readers!

So my official last week at home is coming to an end.. I cant believe how fast time has been flying these last couple weeks.. Its kind of crazy to think that I've been home since October 29th and It doesn't feel like its been that long, I mean its Almost been 3 months! Pretty crazy if you ask me!

Well God is still GOOD and keeping me pretty calm about leaving to NH in a few days. I was starting to freak out a little bit the other night but then I remembered what God has been telling me.. "Taylor I have a plan for you! You are not going alone, I am going with you." Its really comforting to know that I am not going alone and that God does have a plan and if you just trust Him He will provide when the time is right!

Today I got to talk to a girl named Taylor who went to His Mansion last year and graduated in the Spring. It was so comforting to here first hand testimony about this place and how much she loved it there! God is so great and He has completely transformed her life! I can't wait to be free from my pain and be better able to allow God to transform me! Taylor had so many encouraging words to share and advice to give and even put it out there, that I could call here any time if i have any more questions on what to expect or what to bring and such. It was such a blessing to have the opportunity to speak with her! I know this will be a very hard year but the reward in the end is going to be so worth it!

3 days left and still so much to do! Its coming so fast and to think back in October I was ready to leave and go somewhere then! I never thought I would be able to make it till January, and here I am sitting in amazement on how fast time as flown! Funny how life happens to us like that!

Plans for the weekend
Saturday
- skype date with a friend in the morning
- lunch date with another friend
- packing and organizing some more
- um.. i guess thats it. lol

Sunday
-Church in the am (giving my testimony)
-Celebrating my 22 birthday with my mom sisters and brother
-Dinner with the twin, my step mom and dad

Monday
-Making sure everything I need is packed and organized
-taking care of some last minute stuff
-Spending as much time as I can with my family...

Tuesday
-leaving on a plane with my daddy
-Arrive in NH that night

Wednesday
-Explore as much as I can NH
-Go to His Mansion at 3...
-Say goodbye to my daddy.... :(

I know it'll be hard at first but I look forward to the challenge God is placing before me! I love me a challenge!!

Please be in prayer for me over the next year! I am not allowed to have my computer but you never know if there will be an opportunity some time for me to get on and blog! I guess you just have to wait and check back every now and then to see if I've updated!

With LOTS of love,
Taylor

P.s Ill post my testimony on here some time Sunday hopefully! If not then, for sure before I leave!

I never thoughts I would ever be able to post my testimony on here, but you know what? I am no longer afraid! I trust God completely and I truly want to change and be healed! I want my story to be used to change lives! If that means no more secrets, that by golly NO MORE SECRETS!!! I am DONE living a lie! Its about times I speak the truth and let God use me! With that being said, keep your eyes out for my next blog either Sunday or Monday!

Peace!

Having Faith Is What It Takes

2011-12-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

Hey Lovely readers! Sorry its been a wile since i wrote last.. A lot of things have been going on in my life.. Some good, some bad but overall I have a sense of peace. The Lord is so good to me and I am so blessed and honored that He still cares so much and still wants to help me... I have taken so many wrong turns in my life that I feel so unworthy of this kind of love... I know I don't deserve it in the least bit but, He still cares..

About a month ago my parents made the decision for me to come home from college.. I wasn't doing a very good job of taking care of myself.. I guess i was hoping that the more I helped others and payed attention to them and there needs, that maybe my issues would just go away.. I LOVE helping people and being there for them.. Well what I thought would work, didn't.. I came home feeling so broken, so alone, helpless, trapped, abandoned, betrayed... But the one word I now realize i didn't feel, was "Hopeful.." I felt like I had no hope.. Like there was no point in living any longer.. I felt as if I had lost everything I've worked so hard to get.. My friends.. the clubs/organizations I was involved in at school, my health, my life, and in a little way, God.. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.. why couldn't I just take care of myself in the first place? My family was frustrated yet scared all at the same time because they have never seen me as low as i had been.. No one new how to act or what to say to me, which was very difficult.. But the Lord is ALWAYS faithful!!! I had no idea what I was going to do next, so I prayed... I prayed and prayed and prayed.. Asking the Lord to guide me unto the way I should go.. doors began to open before me and that was when I realized that there is always room for Hope.. The Lord did not give us a heart of fear but a heart of courage! God was telling me "Taylor I know you are scared.. But trust in me and everything will be ok!! I PROMISE!!" So I began to trust that He new what He was doing.. Even when I had no clue what to do or what to expect, God had a plan so why should I be afraid??

Like I said Doors began to open unto me and resources and connections began flowing in like a blanket of monsoon rain. With the God given free time I now had (since I wasn't at school) I began the search for a treatment center to go to. A place that was Christ centered, a place of healing and restoration, a place that God wanted ME to go to, and of course a place that wasn't extremely expensive.. (which is hard to find..) So I continued to trust the Lord even though i had fear that it wasn't going to work out.. Fear that I wasn't worth the time or effort, fear that I didn't deserve healing.. Now I don't know why I felt this way.. Maybe that was just Satan in my head..

I found 2 places- Christian based and FREE

Mercy Ministries (MM)

http://www.mercyministries.org/homepage

His Mansion Ministries (HM)

http://www.hismansion.com/

Patiently waiting.. I filled out my applications and sent them in.. (let me tell you... waiting for the unexpected is one of the HARDEST things to do.. In my opinion anyways!) So I waited and waited and then got a phone interview for MM, then had to wait another week for the actual interview.. I honestly think that there is always room for improvement when it comes to patience.. We could all use some help in that area.. haha I know God is always testing mine!

Well then a week later... I got a call from HM! They wanted to set up a phone interview!! The interview went great and I just had an overwhelming peace that this was the place I needed to go!! A friend of mine whose nephew went to this facility had so many good things to say about it.. Then her sister (who has a prayer ministry in Dallas tx) told me that she would sponsor me to go there if I got in! Then on top of all of this her sister knows a girl whose name is also Taylor. Well ironically Taylor just got out of HM in the Spring of last year! She called HM for me and gave them a heads up that they would be receiving my application soon and told them a little about me. How COOL is that??? It was as if God was telling me.. I want you HERE!! I am going to make the way before you so that you will not have to worry about a thing.. 1 month later I got excepted into HM.. actually just found out last Monday, November 28 2011!!! It was the most reassuring feeling I've had this whole time of waiting.. I felt so hopeful that my patience and faith in the Lord payed off!! Now there also was the doubting feeling in my head.. like "oh my gosh.. do i deserve this?? Do I really need to go to a treatment center??" But as those thoughts pop in and out of my head I remind myself that the Lord is taking care of me and if I wasn't supposed to go to HM then I would have never got excepted in the first place.. The Father is in control and I trust Him with ALL of my heart!! What else do I have to do.. Except waist my time worrying about something that is already being taken care of for me!

Every day I remind myself that the Lord HAS a plan and if He opens a door I WILL go through it! Yes it may be hard and terrifying at times but if the Lord is with you no one can harm you! WE as Christians are untouchable!! Often times I forget that... Satan gets it in my head that I've already lost so why keep on fighting or are you really worth it? But the TRUTH is; Jesus already paid the price for our sins! Victory has already been won! I am the child of the King and untouchable because the same power that raised Christ from the dead is the SAME power that lives inside of me and every other Believer!! What CAN'T we do if we have that same power??

I know i've talked a lot but I feel like this has to be said! God knows we are NOT perfect!! But He doesn't want us to live broken lives either.. He is the healer, the bringer of good things! Some times we ask for prayers to be answered and things don't work out the way you wanted them to.. Remember that God KNOWS what He is doing!! He can see the big picture!! We just see a tiny conner... Trust and know that the Lord is Good! He is the ONLY thing that can give you joy in life even in the worst part of the storm.. You will always have that Joy in your heart!! Happiness comes and goes but Joy lasts forever!!

If I didn't have my faith or hope in the Lord I wouldn't be alive right now.. I would have given up a long time ago.. I know that God has a HUGE plan in store for my life and apart of that plan involves me going to His Mansion for a year... Seeking healing, guidance, comfort, strength, and knowledge on who He is, who I am in Him, and how He sees me! One year from NOW I will be free from all of my pain! Yes I know that the road is going to be rough ahead but I know that God is always going to be with me and will help me through the many storms I am going to encounter.

Im terrified about going to a place, a place I've never been and going all alone, knowing no one there... But although the fear is boiling up I remember that God has a plan! This is where He wants me to go! Its just another adventure I get the privilege to go on with my Father in Heaven and another test of my faith!

Know that the Lord is always faithful!! He loves you SO very much and everything we go through will build you up and make you a stronger believe in Him! If life was perfect we would have no reason to to have faith or to trust in the Lord when times were tough! It is because of the difficult times in our lives that make us who we are today! The amazing person God made you to be! Perfect in HIS IMAGE!! (I am working on this last part!)

Things happen for a reason right??

Because I came home I have been blessed in many different ways!

-Time of relaxation

-More time to spend with the Father

-Communication with my family is getting a "little" better (definitely hard at time.. lots of miscommunication as well)

-Time to research and meditate on where God was calling me to go

-Time with my church family and being able to receive there encouragement and support as well

-Time to practice piano again!!! Life at school left me with no time to play anymore and that was really hard..

-Having the opportunity to learn new piano music and play in my friends piano recital

-Being able to see my sister as she goes through the end of her pregnancy and being able to meet my nephew! (that is when he is born...any day now!)

-Having the opportunity to make a baby quilt for my new nephew

-Learn new recipes

-Got to have thanksgiving with my family

-Don't have to stress about finals and can focus on regaining strength and healing for now!

All of these things would have never happened if my parents never made the decision for me to come home. (2 months shy of the end of the semester..) I am so blessed to have a family that cares so much about me.. I know it has been hard for them to see me hurt but its because of that pain that I am able to write this to you write now.. Times get hard and although I was VERY angry (at first) with the fact that I couldn't finish the semester, I am now blessed beyond belief that things have turned out the way they have and I now trust God completely, more then ever before!!

Blessings come in many different shapes and sizes, so even if God sends you a blessing and its not in the form you wanted it in.. Except it and remember that God HAS a plan! It may not line up with your plan (most of the time it doesn't) But NEVER stop believing! Never for one second let Satan convince you that YOU are not worth anything.. Because you are worth EVERYTHING!!

I pray that in some way what I have shared with you has given you a sense of hope, a sense that you are NOT alone!

Hope Sustains,

~Taylor~

Week 7- Inspirational lyrics

2011-09-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

THE HYMN (O WHAT MERCY)

Verse 1
O what mercy has been granted me
for the filthy rags I’ve worn
clothed in sacrifice to great to speak
and of new life reborn
still my darkness veils all the victories

that you’ve seen me through

the prisons I have counted each

a wall of sin so high I cannot reach

Jesus Christ who died for me

gave his life so that I could be free

he gave his life so that I could be free

Verse 2
They come to you weary broken torn
and lay their sorrows at your feet

parched and hungry for a taste of joy and from suffering find retreat

but our silence veils all the answers

that they seek from you

children cry to see your face

poor men desperate for your arms of grace

Jesus Christ who died for them

by your scars we pray their wounds will mend

Verse 3
Our God of grace

our deliverer
to you be glory and fame

all our treasures we have counted loss

for to surrender is to gain

but your hope unveils all the answers

and reveals the Truth

by the cross you made a way

you will bring us to your home one day

Jesus Christ for us you died

gave the world Your love though we denied

I heard this song for the first time last week on Pandora and ever since then I've been hooked!! God has been really ministering to me through these lyrics and I really wanted to share it with you all! At the rate I am at I probably listen to this song maybe 10 times a day if not more! I hope you all enjoy this song and have a great day!

P.s Sorry about the video.. I couldn't find any other video for this song. So just kick back, relax and let God minister to your heart as He has done and continues to do to mine! Love you all!

P.s.s Week 8- write about your fears! Sorry I'm kind of behind.. eak!! Life is just a tad bit busy!!

God Bless

~Taylor~

Week 5- What makes you happy?

2011-09-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

First off I would like to apologize to you all for slacking on my posts... I have been extremely stressed out with school lately and have been a little distracted.. I'll do my best to keep up this time I promise!

What makes me happy?
There are so many things that come to my mind when I think of the word happy. Have you ever thought of what that word really means? Happy..

hap·py
Having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation)

In actuality I am really easy to please, simply seeing a beautiful painted sunset in the sky after a long hard day or taking a nice walk with friends dancing in the nice autumn rain can make my day. There is nothing like the smell of rain!! Its like God is washing every bit of filth away from every crack and crevice on this earth. I just love it!! =)

I love the laughter of people and the smiles on there faces, I love giving and receiving hugs, the kind of hugs that are so warm and meaningful, the ones that really show you that they care. I love those long talks and long walks with my beautiful friends, or getting the chance to snuggled up with my warm blanket on a cold winter day at school, wile watching disney movies in the lobby, are all things that make me smile and brings joy to my heart. Actually talking about all this makes me really want it to be winter now. I can't wait to see the snow falling from the sky and watching people trying to "not" slip on ice as they make there journey to class in the mornings. haha I'm sure this sounds pretty terrible to hear me say such a thing, but hey they I'm sure they are laughing at me as well when I try to make it to class without slipping. =)

I love this school and I love the people. My professors always make me smile even when I am in a bad mood. They care so much for me as a person, not only as there student. The school of music here will always bring a smile to my face though, no matter the day, time, or year. Although i am not a music major any more and though they give me a hard time about it, I still live in that building most days. They were my first family when i came to school 3 years ago! (wow 3 years ago!! :o) They all hold a little piece of my heart and mean the word to me, all because they care about me as if i were there family.

I love to sing and play guitar and piano! Music just soothes my soul... God gave us a heart to worship and maybe that is why it brings peace to my mind. I can be having the worst day of my life and then go to choir and sing and while I am there all of my problems just seem to vanish into thin air.. And as I sing I can feel the hands of God holing me in his arms. I may not be the greatest singer in the world but as long as it means something to God that is all that should matter. I love my sisters and my friends with all of my heart and i love to be with them! God has so graciously blessed me with so many amazing people in my life and such amazing parents. I know my life hasn't been the greatest but I know that God will use me and is using me to change lives. God is my reason to smile, because if it wasn't for Him I would be a live right now and if it wasn't for Him I wouldn't be saved with the reassurance that everything will be ok one day, for He has a plan for my life and is watching out for me! I also love photography and the ability God has given me to capture the beauty he creatively placed in this world. I see this place in a different way, a different view then most people. That in itself is a blessing strait form God showing me how much He really does care about me. =) Whoever created the idea of "photography" was plain genius, because it is such a huge tool that God uses to reveal to the "whole world" the glory and beauty of who He really is.

I am so very blessed to be alive and there are so many things in my life worth smiling for, I just have to remember them and learn to open my eyes more often to enjoy the little blessing in life, gifts sent form God to bring a smile to my face. =)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok so i am 2 weeks behind.. everyone I am so sorry... Here is what last weeks journal was:

Week 6: Find a picture that describe how you are feeling right now and write about the picture. The picture can be one you('ve) took/taken or you can find it on the internet. I hope you all are doing well, have fun!

God Bless!
~Taylor~

Week 4- Aspirations

2011-09-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

I decided to extend this entry for another week because “Aspirations” is a hard subject to cover… I have been trying to figure out what I wanted from this entry, I know what I want to be when I grow up.. I have dreams, I have plans, I have ideas.. Sometimes that is all they are going to be.. but what do I really want for my life, how important do I really see myself as? Where do I see myself in the next 10 years? These are all really hard things for me to answer about myself..

I have been feeling very weak lately and have been letting Satin get into my thoughts and he has been getting a hold of me and telling me that I am not good enough, that I can’t do it, so I might as well just give up now.. I have been fighting that for a while trying to convince myself that its not true.. That I am worth fighting for, that JC gave up his life so that I may live and be happy!

After I chose this topic and began to really think about my aspirations I realized that I couldn’t write this post yet. I new what I was going to say.. I was going to say that I didn’t want to be here, that I just wanted to be with God, where there is no pain, no sorrow, no hurting at all! Only happiness for everyone! I kept thinking about how awesome Heaven is going to be and then I would look at the world and my life and it would make me want that happiness even more.. It has been a constant battle for me to get through this but God has been with me and continues to be with me.. He is trying to show me that there is beauty in the world and that it isn’t all sad and broken.. My photography is an example of that.. God has given me the ability to capture the beauty in the world, but the only problem is that it doesn’t change the circumstances that you or I are in.. I have to just continue to trust and rely on God that he does do all things for good and that He does have a plan and purpose for my life despite how much I am hurting or struggling right now.. With that being said here are my aspirations for my life:

I want to be happy and I want to change lives! I want my life to be an example of Gods forever-mighty power that shows how He can transform a life of brokenness to something whole and new! Something BEAUTIFUL! I want people to look at my life and say, “I want what she has!” It is extremely hard for I’m sure every Christian to have that strong faith all the time.. We are all only human and cant be perfect.. (a little thing I am trying to work on…) I want to be alive and well with a husband and kids some day. I want my life to be worth something that is meaningful and can be passed on to the future generation! I want to be able to love myself the way I am and appreciate everything I’ve got!

On a side note: I am at school right now and I was freaking out about a stupid class… Which in the long run wont even matter in my life.. I was approaching this class with the feeling that I may not be able to do very well and I was so scared and wanted to escape… The fact that I am probably going to fall short of my standards really upset me because I already felt like a failure.. I am not perfect and want to be very badly, so dealing with this is hard for me, but it is good because I can grow from this experience... A good friend had to point out to me that it is just a class and that it is ok to get a C or even a B, its not like when your married and have a family your going to look back and think “oh my gosh because of that stupid class my life is miserable right now…” its not going to be that way at all.. so I need to just let it go and stop freaking out about that so much! Yes you need to try your hardest in everything you do, but if you are not perfect in everything, that is alright.. We are not perfect and cannot be. =)

I hope that in some way these journal entry’s are helping you! For me I can’t even tell you how much its been helping me out! I have been discovering so much stuff about myself that I never new before! It’s actually helping me a lot more then I thought I would! I hope you all have a great week and realize how blessed you are!!

With lots of love

~Taylor~

Next week Journal entry:

Week 5:

Think about the things in your life that make you smile, laugh, or just plain happy.. it can be a memory, inside joke, the picture of someone, or really anything that puts a smile on your face.. Ready.. get set.. have fun!!!

week 3- Who/what has had a major influence on your life?

2011-08-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

I know this is going to sound cheesy and make me sound like a Jesus freak but I am ok with that.. The one person that has had the biggest influence in my life would have to be Jesus.. It is because of him that I keep fighting.. It is his loving character that gives me strength to say that I am a daughter of the King. He has helped me through so much in my life that I can't even begin to list and each time I mess up He takes me back, without thinking twice... He has and continues to teach me that its ok to hurt and ask for help, because "we" live in a broken world and WE are NOT perfect.. WE all need help.. this world wasn't made for us to go through it alone... He is teaching me that his grace is sufficient in my weakness no matter what, because He is the perfect replication of strength. He is what strength is all about.. If I didn't have Christ in my life I honestly don't know where I would be right now.. I know you probably hear people say that a lot of times but it is the truth.. It is because of him that I go to Wayland.. It is because of Him that I have a good relationship with my family.. It is because of Him that I continue to have faith in something I can't see... But I know He is there... I can feel Him all around me.. I can't make it through a day without Him..

The last couple of year or I guess my whole life I feel like I have continually been fighting for my life every single day and I know that if i didn't have the faith of a mustard seed when I was struggling or having doubts I would probably be dead by now... Its hard to admit that.. But God is my reason for life, He is the one who keeps me going.. He makes life worth living for and as long as He stays by my side (which I know darn well He will!) I know I can live for that!

I read Gods word and I see the way he treats people and the kind of people He chose to be with... It wasn't the rich and selfish.. it was the pour and broken who he donated all of His time towards.. I see that and then I look at our world today..
What do you see?
I see a world full of broken people who are searching for help and everyone just passes each other by without even thinking twice.. So consumed with there own issues that they forget that others are hurting as well.. Is that what God intended US as Christians to be like, to do? I don't think so... In the bible it says that when you become a Christian you become a "little Christ" which means that you are to act as Christ acted being a "little Christ". I want to be like Christ and live like He lived... Yes that requires caring my own "cross" but Christ did it for me so why can't I do it for Him.. I have to give up my whole life to fallow Him and if that gives me the greatest reward in the end, then bring it on because I know that Christ is my strength and He will pull me through anything/everything..

I want to live like Christ lived and change lives.. I want my eyes to be opened to the broken and hurting and I want my story to be used to transform lives and give them that mustard seek of hope that I had to cling to for so long.. Yes I am still broken and hurting but who isn't? We all are.. But I am done being consumed by my own pain... and I am done passing others by.. I want to be the light in the darkness.. I want to be a tool that God uses in someones life.. I want my words to touch YOUR heart and let you know that YOU are NOT a lone! I want to be that difference!

I know I am weak... I know I am struggling ALL the time.. I know that I am not good enough for this world... But that is ok because I KNOW that with Christ in my life He will be my strength in my weakness and He WILL take me back time and time again when I mess up... and I KNOW that although I am not good enough for this world, I am good enough for Him and that is ALL that should matter to me.. There is something far more greater for my life and although I don't know what it is right now, God knows and as long as I trust Him, lives will be touched and I will be that change, I will be that difference!

My faith hasn't always been this strong... Its taken A LONG time to get to this point.. and its still not that strong all the time.. But its because of all of the hardships I've gone through in my life, seeing the way He has helped me overcome it all and seeing his influence time and time again through out the bible, that He continues to have that positive influence in my life and continues to transform me and renews my faith everyday. It by all means is NOT easy at all.. It does take a lot of time and effort.. just like having a friendship with someone takes time and effort so does this... You can't have a good relationship with Christ if you don't spend time with Him and get to know Him...

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog... I hope that in some way what I have said has touched your heart and If you would like to talk to me or ask any questions please feel free to leave me a message or shoot me an email at ts6408@yahoo.com and Ill get back to you as soon as possible!

"you are beautifully and wonderfully made"
~Taylor~

Week 4-
What are your aspirations in life and why? Have fun!! =)

Week 2- Favorite memories growing up

2011-08-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Favorite Memories...

At first, when I decide the topic for the week I was having a really hard time... I could not for the life of me think of something happy that stuck out from my life.. I know what you're thinking.. "how can you not think of something happy??" Well you see, this is exactly why I am doing this project! I have been so consumed with all of the hurt and pain from my past that it was starting to take over my mind, to the point that I couldn't even remember anything good about the last 21 years.. Once I started really thinking about my life, glimpses of happy memories began to reveal themselves from there hiding places.

So... Are you ready for this.. are you ready to hit the road??

Traveling down memory lane, words fill my mind as they line the journey set before me.. Comforting, soothing words that brings joy to my mind.

~Night night~

When my twin sister and I were born my dad made up this little rhyme.. It goes like this: "Night night, Sleep tight, Love you, Love you more, Love you this much, Kisses, Night night." Every night my dad would come into our room and do this.. After every phrase we would repeat what he said.. When he said "I love you THIS much" We would through our arms out stretched wide trying to emphasize how much he really loved us, and when he said "kisses" we would blow kisses to my dad and he would catch them all.. Never letting one get away, and he would place them in his heart.. Every night we did this and it seemed to make everything feel so much better.. Even if the day was a nightmare everything seemed better because my dad still cared and loved us so much! Some times I think about this memory and really miss the warm comforting sound of his sweet words every night, sometimes wishing I could be a kid again... But that is why memories are so good! You can savor that moment forever!

Growing up I never realized how much I was really loved... I honestly had no idea.. But now that I look back and remember the good times, I am starting to come to my senses...:)

~Late night talks~

haha This one always makes me smile... Im sure ALL of you know what I am talking about!! It's those "late night talks" that you say you will NEVER forget about! As you already know, I have a twin sister.. She is the most amazing person alive and that is just being nice...:) But anyways... When we were children Jordan and I always had a bunk bed.. Jordan got top and I got bottom... Every night after my dad did "night nights" Jordan would beg me to come up to the top bunk with here.. Every night she asked me to do 1 of 2 things... Either Sing her a song or make up a story... For some reason this helped her fall asleep at night.. (at least I think it did.. If not I don't know why else she would want me to do that every night..:)) So being the good sister that I am, every night I would climb up to her bunk and make up a silly story and/or sing her a song.. It was always so nice to feel needed even though I really wanted to just go to sleep!! We had many late nights like this.. trying to see who could stay up the longest (which she always won at... :/) But, hey what can I say.. I like me some sleep! Being "all grown up" kind've sucks some times i must admit... Jordan is now married and has her own life and I am gone away at school the majority of the year.. so we don't have many late night talks/hang outs any more.. It does make me sad but it makes me glad to see how we have grown over the years.. And plus there will always be plenty of late night talks to come in the future.. :D

~DUN DUN DUN...... The evil stepmother~

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you here this?? Ready GO!!

ok.. well what your thinking is wrong...

Yes I have a step mom... but, she isn't as evil as evil stepmothers can be... This isn't as the original fairy tale kind of story.. But it is a story..

When my dad and step mom sat my sisters and I down to tell us what was going on my dad starts off by saying.. "Children.. I have been searching all around town to find the perfect "evil stepmother" for you and I think I finally found her!" We all kind of laughed and ever since then the name has stuck.. Every time I get a letter at school from my step mom, in the "from" line on the envelope it'll read "evil step mother" and on the inside of the card it would say: Love always the evil stepmother.. Its pretty hilarious if you ask me because the expressions on peoples faces when they hear me talk about my step mom that way are just priceless.. Every where we would go whether to a school meeting, meet the teacher, friends.. anything, my step mom would introduce herself as just that. "hello I am the evil stepmother.."

~Hailee and I~

Hailee is my adorable niece... She will six on the 24th of this month.. I can't believe how big she is ALREADY.. Her and I have a special bond together.. Im not sure why that is but we make a great team! When she was a baby my sister Kendis (Hailee's mom) would only let me watch Hailee out of all of my other sister.. when it came time for a nap... she had the hardest time falling asleep because there was just way to much going on and of course she didn't want to miss anything... so I would take her into the pantry hallway and shut the doors on both sides and just sit on the floor in the dark rocking her back and forth until she finally fell asleep... when she got a little older my sister moved out and got her own place with her little family and she would bring Hailee over to the house every morning at around 630 so that she could go to work.. Almost every morning my niece would crawl into bed with me and just cuddle until it was time for me to get up and get ready for school.. But of course with a little one entering an already warm bed the person in the bed always gets the shocking experience of cold feet... haha she always put her cold piggy toes on me because she thought it was funny to see me jump or freak out! For a couple of years we had this morning ritual and I honestly really miss those morning with here a lot..

~Singing silly songs~

I am kind of musically inclined.. not a lot but kind of.. I play guitar and something that I do often to cheer myself up is being goofy and playing silly songs.. Random songs about lonely shoes in my closet the never get used.. or about break lunch and dinner including everything in between (brunch, lupper, and even brinner) My roommate got a kick out of this the last year and a half.. her and I would sing the craziest things but you know what?? I didn't really care because, well it was fun!:) occasionally when I am starting to feel down i just pull out my guitar and do just that.. sing something silly that will brighten my mood.

~Bag Pipes~

This is one of my most favorite memories... My whole life, or at least the last 21 years, I have had to opportunity to hear my grandpa McDonald play the bag pipes.. He was the most amazing bag piper I've ever heard in my life... I am not just saying that because he was my grandma, I am saying that because it is the truth!! Every year he would fly from FL to AZ and we would always make sure he had those pipes of his or he would be in trouble with all of his grandkids! There was just nothing like hearing him play.. He played at my step mom and dads wedding and when i was in elementary school he came to my school and played for my whole grade, which was really awesome!! He even whore a kilt and everything else that went with it. The kids just laughed and said! "oh my gosh that guy is wearing a skirt... O_o" Then I would have to explain that it wasn't really a skirt but a kilt and that all Scottish bag pipers wear them, its apart of the heritage! My grandpa recently just passed away and it aches my heart to think that I wont ever get to see him play again.. But one great thing is that hopefully some day ill be able to carry on the tradition of the bag pipes in my family and learn to play just like him! My grandma said that if I want to carry on this for the family that she would give me my grandpas pipes which would mean a lot me but would be scary as well.. I know I will never be as good as he was but just the fact that I could try and do this for my family makes my heart happy.. My grandpa was one of the most amazing men i've got to know and I am so blessed to have been able to have him for so long!

Well travelers.. I hope the trip wasn't to long and that you all enjoyed your tour of Memory Lane! Until next time.. Enjoy!:)

P.s week 3 journal entry is:

Who/what has had a major influence in your life? Make sure it is a positive influence and most importantly Have FUN!!! =)

Week 1 "what is Beauty"

2011-08-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

Rules:
You can not include anything regarding body shape, weight, size ect.. Some where on the page you must include the worlds "You are beautifully and wonderfully made" This is Gods promise to us.. He thinks highly of every single one of us.. and that is something I want you to always remember!

ok.. What is beauty?
To be quite honest this is a really hard topic for me to answer... I have always struggled with this idea.. "am I beautiful?" I think a lot of people, especially girls struggle with this concept because of the way the world portrays the word "beauty". With how often it is shoved in our faces we tend to forget the "true" meaning of this word... They way God really intended us to see ourselves.. Here is my thoughts and feelings..

"I am beautifully and wonderfully made"

What makes me beautiful?

I have a pretty smile
a beautiful heart
loving spirit
silly laugh
pretty brown curly hair
an encouraging personality
I give great hugs (i LOVE hugs)
i love everyone..
I want to help everyone I can get my hands on
I am to nice for my own good..
I can play musical instruments
I speak from my heart..

With the help of friends and family this is the list I have come up with... There are more, but this is the shorter version.. All of these are characteristics about myself that makes me a beautiful person.. I actually think that it is kind of sad that it took me all week and assistance from others to find things in myself that makes me a "beautiful person". But that is why I am doing this.. To find out things that I didn't know before.. Looks like its working! :)

Now lets look at Gods perspective on Beauty... Here are some verses to keep in mind the next time you try to say "your not beautiful".. No matter how you feel about yourself you are beautiful in Gods eyes and that is the only thing that matters!

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

What it means: You are created in the image of God, and God doesn't make junk! Like a snowflake, every person is unique. No two are the same. God sees you as a masterpiece; and when you look in the mirror, He wants you to "know that full well." Try this beauty tip: Every morning when you look in the mirror, say Psalm 139:14 and smile. You might even tape the verse on your mirror as a reminder!

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

What it means: The world focuses on what people look like on the outside. God focuses on what people look like on the inside. Do you put more time and effort into being pretty on the outside or the inside? As you get older, you will meet Christian girls who spend more time trying to find the perfect outfit, get the perfect tan, find the perfect lip gloss, and have the perfect body. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty, we need to make sure it's in balance. God would rather see us work on becoming drop-dead gorgeous on the inside. You know, the kind of girl who talks to Him on a regular basis (prayer) and reads her Bible.

Proverbs 31:3

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

What it means: Beauty fades with age, so if you are more concerned with your outer appearance, you will be unhappy when the wrinkles come and the number on the scale goes up. In fact, did you know that your body may show the beginning signs of aging as early as age twenty? That is why God wants us to "fear" Him. That doesn't mean to be afraid of Him but rather to be in awe of Him and all that He has done. Let me put it to you this way. If you stand two girls next to each other and one is Miss Teen USA whose beauty is limited to physical beauty, and the other young lady is a more average-looking girl who loves the Lord more than anything, she is the more beautiful girl in the eyes of God.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

What it means: This does not mean it's wrong to braid your hair or wear nice clothes and jewelry. The verse was written to warn women not to follow the customs of some of the Egyptian women who, during that time period, spent hours and hours working on their hair, makeup, and finding the perfect outfit. God would rather see women work on becoming beautiful on the inside — the kind of beauty that lasts forever.

1 Timothy 4:8

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

What it means: Exercising and staying in shape is a good thing, but God expects us to stay in shape spiritually by reading our Bibles, praying, and going to church on a regular basis. In other words, there will be plenty of people who put their time and effort into staying in shape but who are out of shape spiritually. If they don't know Jesus Christ, their perfect bodies won't get them through the gates of heaven.

Just a few ideas on how to look at yourself in a different way!! Instead of analyzing yourself every time you look in the mire.. try telling yourself that "you are beautifully and wonderfully made" Remind yourself that you are "Beautiful" in Gods eyes no matter what.. That is the only thing that matters because that is the real truth!

Stay tuned in for next weeks journal entry!:)

"YOU are Beautiful!!" :-)

Encouragement Journal

2011-08-08T17:23:00.000-07:00

What is encouragement?? I have had a really rough time in the last couple of years trying to keep myself encouraged.. Don't get me wrong I mean I know how to encourage people.. just not always myself.. So I decided to start an encouragement journal! ha! that'll show you Mr sad face!! :P

So. . this journal will be filled with lovely messages of joy and happiness so that every time I look at it, Ill be encouraged and remember how beautiful my life really is... despite all of my trials and sad days... Some times I get so consumed with the hard times that I forget that there really are good things going on in my life as well.. Thus the point of my journal..

As you all know.. "WE" are all human and we are all struggling with something... negative thoughts, bad attitudes, self harm, depression, self esteem, loneliness, stress, fear... The list can go on and on.. But my point is, we are all needing encouragement for we are only "human" and NOT perfect! Anyone interested in participating in this with me are more then welcome to jump on in at any time!

Assignment:
Every Monday ill introduce a new topic to journal.. You can do any type of journal.. a photo journal, written journal (on paper or blog) or really whatever else you can think of, will be fine as long as you address the topic that is assigned! This is to help you dig deeper inside and help you find who you are and how you really feel! Not every week will be a hard serious topic but expect to be challenged! If anyone has a topic in mind please feel free to through it out there! I am open for idea!

Today is the start of the second week. Here are the first 2 weeks entry's

Week 1 Journal entry topic (last weeks entry): "what is beauty?"
Week 2 Journal entry topic (this week) "what is your favorite memory growing up?"

My hope for this is the help you grow in yourself and to help you discover how beautiful your life really is.. My hope is that when you are feeling "down in the dumps" so to say.. that you will have something to turn to that will encourage you despite how horrible you feel! Good luck and Have fun!! :D

"You are Beautifully and Wonderfully made!"

At The Foot Of The Cross

2011-06-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

At The Foot Of The Cross

By Taylor McDonald

Here I come, standing in your presence

Were victory was won,

By death you rose again

I stand at the foot of the cross.

I come offering nothing

Nothing but my faults and failures

Nothing but insecurities and mindless things

Nothing that could possibly matter.

But each time you take me back

Each time you show me you care

Trading these worthless things

For treasure and gold

A crown that shows that I am yours.

Standing at the foot of the cross

I’m made whole

Though it was my sin that placed you there

You still care.

I give everything back to you

Placing it in your hands

For without you I am nothing.

At the foot of the cross I go

Holding nothing back,

Letting things go!

The Journey

2011-05-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

Who knows where life will take you. The road is long, but in the end, the journey is the destination." -Coach Whitey Durham

When you look at this picture how does it make you feel??

When I look at this picture It makes me feel that although the road may be long, some times empty and un predicting, the reword in the end is worth the hardships and trials. If we would stop looking at our feel or just ahead of us we would always remember that everything we go through in life has a purpose and the reword is greater then the journey there. In this picture look at how beautiful the end of the bridge leads you to. There are lots of people, water and fun! Just because the road your on seems long, doesn't mean that the reword is never coming. Keep looking up and never forget that there is something far more greater for your life then the situations your presently in! You are loved by so many, especially by God and He has a plan for your life!

Please feel free to comment and let me know what feeling this picture places in your mind. There are no right or wrong answers so feel free to dig deep and really think about how you truly feel. Most importantly don't forget to have fun and be creative!

Have a great day!:)

Life

2011-02-05T22:12:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt like life appears to hard to handle? Some times I feel that way, but God promises us that He is always there to help us. What we can't do He can! Never loose hope!:)

Are you living in the shadows of the world?

2010-07-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

The Daughter of a King

2010-06-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

Sitting at my computer pretty much every minute of every day wasting my time on mindless things such as fb or youtube looking up the newest hits of the talented teens and young adults, who are trying to be found. But today my mind takes me to a different place, a different reality in a sense. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... (no comment!) About God and his many wonders and me as one of his precious creations and what's his purpose for me a his daughter.. The daughter of the king! The daughter of the one who created everything, who told light it could shine. But what does God ask us as his creation to be, or become, how to act, how to live our lives accordingly. This year has been a huge test of my faith and these questions I have brought to the surface of my mind, thoughts I once thought of as a "why wasn't my time with them" kind of thoughts. But none the less there they were brought to my mind many times through out this past year. My faith has grown, my trust in God the father and his will for my life has left me feeling contempt at the moment. I still struggle with understanding what God wants of me... but maybe that is something i'll always struggle with, something we all will struggle with. But every day I am learning what true trust entails and how to give all of mine to God. I am afraid I may never fully understand the whole meaning of it but maybe i'll get closer rather then farther.:)

In His time

2010-01-22T15:02:00.000-08:00

God has been speaking to me

The picture on the left is the sunrise on the way back to school. If you look really close on the left hand side the telephone pole looks like a cross. God was with us! This is just one example of Gods beauty!:)

The picture on the right is the sunset from the other day!

Everyday I can see his glory, his beauty, his unfailing love!

I went for a walk yesterday with 3 of my really close friends and I saw the most beautiful sunset ever! I kept telling my friends "Look at how beautiful the sky looks right now" and they didn't really care much about it.

God has been doing little things for me lately, things that make me really happy or brightens my day, like the sunset. God knows exactly what makes you happy and he squeezes it into each and every day. Some times we just forget to pay attention to it, sometimes we just get to busy and rush through the day. God has been showing me that you can never be to busy to pay attention to Him.

This semester I have been extremely busy, way more then I was last semester, but there is something different this time. I have been more content with myself and have seen God's presence in my everyday life, even on the busiest day.

I've been playing a lot of music lately. The cello, classical guitar, piano, singing and what I've come to terms with is that every time I do any of it I am worshipping the Lord through it all. Every second on every day I am praising my King!!

The Lord is So merciful and cares SO much for me, even when I don't feel like I deserve it. He is always there!:)

Going into this semester/new year I had this reassurance that it was going to be a great semester. Now that I'm living it, I can see clearly now! God’s gentle voice is speaking to me everyday and as I fallow, I know I'll do great things for his glory. Now what exactly? I have no idea, but that is in Gods hands, so i have nothing to worry about.

In His time,

Taylor M.

Growing Up

2009-12-16T14:24:00.000-08:00

Hello all, sorry its been so long.

The first semester of college is complete and I am once again home united with my lovely friends and family to celebrate one of my favorite holidays in the year (Christmas!) =)

One thing i've learned wile being away at school is how important family really is. Wile living at home I took advantage of having a family, and thought mine was so horrible. Going to college has helped me come to the realization that I should be grateful to have a family. There are some people who don't even have a family to go home to on the holidays and would do anything in the world to take my place.. I was so selfish and didn't understand how important these people were to me. Since I realized this I've been trying to connect bridges, hoping to make our relationship stronger. It's time to fix things before it's to late...

Sometimes in life it takes stepping out of our comfort zones to realize what needs to change in our lives. In my case I needed to go away to college to realize how bad my relationship was with my family to be able to fix it.

I am so grateful for what God has done in my life this past semester even though my relationship with him hasn't been all that great. He has used many people to reveal his love and mercy on me through all the good and bad times wile living in a new place the last 4 months. God isn't done using and shaping me to become the person he wants me to be and I just know that this next semester I'll grow and mature more then I have thus far. I have great friends at my school now and with there help we will grow in the Lord along with our friendship as we take on each and every day of the new year.

Prayer Request..

My relationship with the Lord has been pretty bad the last few months, since i went away to school... I really want to go grow in Him more and find my calling.. I kind of feel like he is trying to lead me some ware but I'm not to clear as to ware He is leading me. This next semester I'll have 11 classes and I know it'll be even harder to find time for God in my everyday life.... Please pray that I'll be able to manage my time properly, and that I'll keep my eyes open to ware God is calling me to go. Thank you!

God Bless!

2009-09-15T17:19:00.000-07:00

I am doing a project in one of my classes and I thought i would do it one Music Therapy. I want those who have never seen nor heard of it before to see the amazing power that music really has. This is a video that i found today and I really wanted to share it with y'all. I hope you enjoy it. :) The link bellow will take you to the video.
Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Video Portrait (Part 1)
Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Video Portrait

college life

2009-08-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

So i am set and have adjusted to my new home. :)

Orientation for college started last friday and man did they keep us busy!! It started friday and ended monday and let me tell you, I am so grateful i went to that because it has really helped me with the transition from high school to college. We did a lot of really fun stuff along with bible studies and i got to know a few people. :) They would have stuff for us to do from 8 in the morning to midnight! isn't that insane or what lol, but thats college for you. :)

One night there was an ice cream social at midnight for the freshman and they tried to great the longest banana split and we all had to stand side by side to eat it. It was funny!! Another night we had Karachi at the schools church or you could call it the BSM building. That stands for the Baptist Student Ministry. We had worship in there earlier that morning, then it turned into a restaurant type thing, (thats ware we ate dinner), then it turned into a pretty sweet coffee house for Karachi. it didn't even look the same on the inside.

But anyways i have met a few cool people and i can't wait to meet more!

Here is something funny for you... lol So last night i went to work out and when i was going back to my dorm one of the girls staying in my dorm was leaving. We began talking when we realized we were living in the same place and i asked ware she was going. She said Walmart and i needed to go there so i went with her. lol I just thought it was funny because i never met her before and here i am going to walmart with her. :) it makes me laugh!! she is pretty cool and we exchanged numbers so if we ever get board we can hang out.

Here is something else that is funny.. Chrisann (the girl i went to walmart with) and I were pulling back into the school parking lot and she told me that I had to lessen to this amazing song so we sat in the car and lessened to it. It was so powerful and it just gave me the goose bumps all over. It is called "how he loves" by Kim Walker. It was so beautiful!! We got out of the car and it was extremely windy along with lightning and it was so peaceful we just stood out there for a few minutes just enjoying the weather. :) sigh.....

Ok now onto a crazy thing... Today was Chapel and I sat by myself because i didn't feel like trying to find the people i new but the service was so powerful! The worship was so amazing and can you guess what song they sang last?? It was the song "how he loves", the same song Chrisann and i lessened to the night before!! How awesome is that!?!?!? I got the goose bumps during the whole time of worship. It was awesome!!

Well i guess thats enough for now, because this post is getting to be long. lol but if anyone has any questions for me just ask. =)

See Ya latter!!!!

~Taylor~

Job

2009-07-25T20:48:00.001-07:00

Yahweh has been tugging at my heart this past week. I feel as if I haven't really learned much this summer. I've been so busy trying to do things with friends, for God, to greater his plan, but I forgot something so important, something that we often times forget. I forgot to allow my self to learn something from the lessons I taught. The thing is that, I'm not only supposed to deliver God's messages, but I'm supposed to get something out of it as well.
Sometimes I get so caught up in my life that I don't want to give God all control and luckily he has patience with me, with each and every one of us.
At youth camp this summer one of our quiet times was on Job. Job had patience and was loyal to God through everything he went through in his life. In the quiet time it asked if I thought I had patience and I said yes. Well that was before I read the scriptures. Job's sheep were killed, his wife and kids were killed, he lost his house. He had nothing left and was left living on the streets homeless, later to receive sours all over his body. With all of this he never turned his back on God, he never called Him nasty name and he never denied him. He praised God for the good times and the bad, and no matter what happened he new he had God and that was all he ever needed.
I soon realized after reading this that I didn't have patience after all. Not compared Job at least. We need to strive to be like Job everyday. I know that when something in my life goes wrong I go strait to God and ask "why are you doing this to me?"
Job never once did that, he new that God had a reason for everything that happened in his life. He wasn't afraid of God, because God is LOVE. He new that even though he lost everything on earth he still had his heavenly father, who has and never left his side.
Job was a very rich man in the beginning, lost everything he worked so hard for, then was payed back 3 folds.
Because of Job's faithfulness to God, Job was blessed with more than he could ask for. Our God is a GREAT God and he loves us very much. He is my strength when i am week, he is the treasure that I seek, he is my all in all.
This story is just one that shows us how worldly possessions have no purpose in the end, so let go of whatever your holding on to and Give it all to God.
God Bless

Taken Prisoner

2009-06-26T23:42:00.000-07:00

I sit at my computer, wanting to write a blog, as my mind begins to transform into mush. my eyes are saying go to sleep and my body and mind are saying keep going don't stop.

Lately, my interest in my future career has taken hold of me. I am a captive of something I'm yearning to become one with. Music therapy is slowly become more of what my heart is wanting to become. If that makes sense. The more I've read and learn about it, the more anxious I grow. This is truly were my heart is at and I can not wait to get to the point in my life when I can use this to do miraculous things in this world.

Now days music is becoming more popular and scientist are beginning to realize that music can truly heal the mind body and soul. Science has been around for quite some time but i believe music has been around longer than that, since the beginning of time.

I just want to learn so much and time seems to be going so slow! I mean, I don't want life to go to fast but i have this passion for learning and I can't seem to get enough of it!

For now that's all i can say, because like I said before my mind is slowly turning into mush. The later the night grows the more my brain becomes a scrambled puzzle.

See ya

Continuing On.

2009-06-15T21:24:00.000-07:00

Today I’m going to talk about Friday night and Saturday. After my test on Friday I got a tour of the campus which was pretty neat. I also got a look at the dorms so that I could have a better idea as to what dorm I want to live in.

I tell you I’ve never been to a place that had so many people that were as nice as these people were. I was swished away in the breeze of kindness that blew past me. I really think this school is one of the best things that has blossomed in my life.

Saturday was orientation and I thought it was going to be a long and a semi stressful day, but what I found was an environment filled with encouragement and joy.

One lady whom sticks fresh in my head is Debbie. Her last name has been lost in the hustle n bustle inside my head so I can’t recall it at the moment. I met her while on my tour of the campus on Friday night. My dad, the tour guide and I were walking towards her and she all of a sudden stuck her hand out to shake mine and said “hi Taylor my name is Debbie”. I was totally caught off guard that she even knew my name in the first place. She was so sweet and let me know that she was working on getting resources ready for me for the fall; so I’ll have the same advantage as all the other fully sighted students.

Another person who I’m really looking forward to next year is: Dr. Stutes. She is the Dean of the Music School at Wayland. The first time I met her was when I went to visit WBU back in February. I saw her on Saturday and she said “Oh hi Taylor it’s nice to see you again!” She was also very sweet and I look forward to being in her class in the fall. It made me feel so special that a few people remember me.

Saturday I got to pick my classes as I said (16 credit hrs) and register for everything else that I would need next year. (Dorm, meal plan, picture id, financial aid, ect). It was very well organized and made it easy to get everything done in a timely manner. Although, it did take about 6 hrs to get through every station.

In conclusion I am so ecstatic about going to Wayland in the fall and I can’t wait to meet new people and try new things. At the end of June I believe ill get to find out who my roommate will be. How cool is that. I can’t wait!!! J

My God is leading me so I shall fallow and obey. Everything is working out because I’ve put it all in high hands.

God bless. J

Updates

2009-06-14T21:08:00.000-07:00

Ok so I am currently in Stephenville Texas visiting with some step family. Really the reason why I am in Texas to begin with is because registration was last Saturday and I had to take a placement test for math at the college I’m going to be attending in the fall. If you don’t know what school that is its Wayland Baptist University. God sure has been working marvelous things in my life throughout this past year.

So any who, let’s start out with last Thursday. My dad and I left for Texas around 7pm driving through the night. It was about a 12 hour drive to get to Wayland, and it was pretty cool that I got to spend so much time with just my dad. We actually got to talk a bit, and it really made me feel closer to him. I haven’t been very close to my dad in a very long time, so it felt really amazing to actually get to talk to him about all sorts of stuff.

We arrived at my school around 11:30 on Friday morning which was exciting.

At 1 o’clock I took my math placement test. Can anyone guess what grade I got on it???? Bet not… lol I got an “A” on it!!!!! I totally thought I was going to fail it but I guess I was wrong. J Since I got an “A” It placed me in the College Algebra class. Wow me ahead, how did that happen?!?!? That totally made my day by the way…

Saturday’s extravaganza will be posted tomorrow just so my blogs can stay semi short. If I post my blogs to long I’m afraid no one will read them. So stay tuned for more exciting news on this new chapter in my life. J

See Ya

What has God been telling me?

2009-06-09T22:17:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I should have posted this blog a few days ago but I just procrastinated it. Anyways...

God has been revealing a few things to me in the last couple of weeks. Here is what I've come to realize.

1. I am supper small!!!! Sometimes I make myself feel big when I'm really not. God has shown me that he is way bigger than I could have ever imagined. The link below is a video God used to show this to me. There are 5 videos you don't have to watch all of them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewKtSKbWZUI&feature=channel_page

2. There was this old encouragement text my friend once sent me, it said to think of 5 things that God has done that is worthy of praise. At the moment I couldn't think of anything, but as time went on I've come to realize some things that is worth of praising. 1 is..
1. Every day God blesses us with a new painting in the sky. Everyday it reminds me of how beautiful He really is.
Have you ever heard anyone say that a picture can never be as good as the real thing. That reminds me of when I try to take a picture of a sunset. I try so hard to capture what my eyes are taking in, but guess what it never seams as marvelous as it was in person.

3. To cherish the time I have with the people I love because time fly's really fast and before you know it you want to turn back time and unfortunately you cant.

4. If God wants you to do something, somehow you end up doing it in the end. He pushes and pushes you until you have to do what He says. He has a plan for my life so why do I keep fighting what he wants, afterall he knows whats best for me, but I do it any ways.

I think there is more but I can't think of the rest at the moment. :)
Peace
PHIL 4:13
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

Monday news (its monday right) jk

2009-06-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

Man I love working out. :) There's just something about it, its the way I feel afterwords I guess. Its the feeling of satisfaction that you actually did something good for your body. unfortunately I haven't worked out in a wile because of that little thing called laziness. hahaha don't we all hate that. lol

Any ways I'm really trying to get back into shape again. I usually would be in shape by now but since I couldn't fit track into my schedule this year it has made me more out of shape than ever before. Ill get back to ware I was sooner or later hopefully :)

Anyways on to a more serious note I just ate this amazing chicken salad and it tasted absolutely amazing!!!! YUMMMMM =D it definitely hit the spot.

P.s- Just a heads up Ill be posting another blog here in the near future. (ether tonight or tomorrow)
Tootles for now.

Got it all figured out?

2009-05-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

OK so I sit here eating some yummy frosted flakes, looking at a blank word box wondering what thoughts I should through your way today. Then all a sudden "Bamb!!!!" I know what I must say....

"Got it All Figured Out"
Confused? Me too, just kidding.

OK on with my thought....

Humans are pretty intelligent don't you think?
We understand how storms are created. We map solar systems and transplant hearts. We measure the depths of the oceans and send signals to distant planets. We... have studied the system and are learning how it works.

And, for some, the loss of mystery has led to the loss of majesty.

The more we know, the less we believe. (really think about that)

Strange, don't you think? Knowledge of the workings shouldn't negate wonder. Knowledge should stir wonder. Who has the more reason to worship than the astronomer who has seen the stars? Than the surgeon who has held a heart? than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths? The more we know, the more we should be amazed!

Ironically, the more we know, the less we worship..... We are more impressed with our discovery of the light switch than with the one who invented electricity.... Rather than worship the Creator, we worship the creation (Rom. 1:25).

No wonder there is no wonder. We've figured it all out.

Just a thought for the day.
See ya!!! :)

He Always Takes Me BacK!!!

2009-05-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

OK so at my church I started this street evangelism group called FTH (Feed the Hungry). I originally started it but was afraid to be in charge of it, because… well actually I don’t really know why but anyways the right person is in charge of it now and its better that way because ill be going off to college next year and couldn’t be in charge of it anyways.

Well last month when FTH went down town to feed the homeless a few ladies and I sat down with this man (I actually don’t remember his name so lets call him John). So John began expressing his feeling towards religion period. Instantly I realized that this man was going to be an interesting person to communicate with. He expressed that he messes up a lot and God doesn’t deserve someone like him; someone who constantly makes the same mistake over and over again. I tried to tell him that were only human and God expects us to mess up again and again, because it’s in our human nature to do so. We can try as hard as we want but no matter what we do it’ll never work, we will always mess up. God new that and that’s one of the reasons why his son Jesus died for us, so that we could get to heaven. “Because the wages of sin is death” we would have never made it to heaven if it wasn’t for Jesus.

I told John that I make mistakes all the time, weather its messing up and falling into old bad habits or if its finding myself lying. The mistakes can be anything but I confess them to God and every time, weather I think I deserve it or not he takes me back.

I recently make a huge mistake and honestly I wished that God could punish me somehow so I would learn from it. I always learn from my mistakes but for some odd reason I seem to make it again. Sometimes it’s not for a long time like 4 months or a short period of time like 2 days but ether way it doesn’t matter because God loves me and he knows that I’m going to be faced with temptation throughout my whole life.

So why with the knowledge that I have, make the same mistake again if I know it’s not right?

Sometimes were so blinded by what we see and feel and ignore what God is trying to tell us. I may know that God is with me and I can count on Him to get me through these temptations but sometimes… I don’t want his help. That is why I make the same mistakes over and over again; because I try so hard to handle things on my own. I try so hard to say that everything is ok when there is something on my mind. I try so hard to tell God that I don’t need his help, that I can do it on my own. But clearly I can’t do it on my own because I keep falling into the same mistakes over and over again, just because I want to be strong and do it on my own.

After I messed up I talked to God and confessed what I did. I was so angry at my self and wanted to commit the same sin again just because I was made that I fell into temptation again. For a couple of days I was really down because I hadn’t forgiven my self for it. I talked to God again and asked him to give me peace about it. He spoke to me and said:

“Taylor I love you so much and I know you messed up but see how long you went without falling into that temptation? You are so amazing and I know you are stronger than you think”

Ok God didn’t really speak these words to me but this is what I felt like he was telling me. Soon after this I felt at peace with myself and was finally able to move on. God works in weird ways but He always takes me back even when I don’t think I deserve it, he does. It’s because of God I stand here or…. write here, and it’s because of God that I know everything will always be ok. Sometimes the hardest part in life is trying to find the courage to forgive yourself but one thing you can always count on is that God has got your back and he is lever going to let you fall.

This story is example of how God forgives us of our sins and I know a lot of people feel like John (the homeless man I mentioned above) and I know it’s hard to even fathom that someone could or would want even want to take you back. But let me tell you He does and He is honored to have you back in his family.

God has taught me so many things and I would love to go back to that park and find John again and share with him this story that God has given me to tell. This story that can some how or some way relate to him. It may not be the same circumstance but God does everything for a reason and this is the testimony I would like to share with him. I hope and pray that my blog will somehow benefit someone in the future.

God Bless. :)

When do you know when God is leading you?

2009-03-31T23:02:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking about this question a lot lately and asking God that He would keep my eyes open to what he wants me to see, not what I want to see.
Well last week I got an invitation to go visit a college in Texas called Wayland Baptist University (WBU), with a few people from my church. Honestly I didn’t know if I wanted to go or not and I kind’ve felt as if I wasn’t men’t to go. You see I was supposed to work on that Friday and my tutor was supposed to come on that Thursday, nothing seemed to be working out for me. I prayed and prayed about this and the more I prayed the more I grew anxious about the trip. So I called around trying frantically to find someone to cover my shift that Friday. Well I had no luck until the night before we were going to leave. I was lying on the floor in my room crying because I was so frustrated that nothing was working out, so I thought I would call my supervisor one more time. Luckily God had taken control of the situation and I had someone to cover my shift. Woohoo How exciting!!!!! Now I found myself crying because God had taken control of the situation and all of a sudden this heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Now before I go any further let me tell me you this; God does work in our lives, He is doing it every day, we just need to choose to follow and open our eyes to the little things He does.
Now that I’ve said that let me get back on the reason for this blog (my trip….)
So after a 12 hour drive we arrived at WBU and Instantly I felt comfortable and not afraid one bit. My friend and I stayed in the same dorm room together and everyone was so sweet. Normally you would think that staying in a dorm with a college student would be very scary but it wasn’t. God was totally leading me throughout the whole trip and keeping me safe.
So as I spent time acting like a college student, going to a class and taking notes, Lol why not…. :), spending time talking to the staff in charge of the music department and realizing that everything I was looking for in a college was lying in my mist. I decided to audition for the classical guitar even though I didn’t come prepared I felt like I was being pushed in that directions so I fallowed how I felt. My audition went amazing and I didn’t do too badly for only playing the classical guitar for a month or so. The judges (3) really enjoyed my company and as they asked me questions about music and myself we wandered into the fact that I write my own music (some with lyrics and some not). They were really friendly and once my audition was over I left the room. So now I was standing in the hallway talking to my friends and waiting for them to complete their auditions Dr Stutes the lady in charge of the school of music at Wayland came up to me and asked if I would consider auditioning for vocal as well. Scared I put it in God’s hands and I said yes…. So I entered the room seeing that there was 6 judges I would have to sing in front of, when I had never sang in front of anyone like this in my life. Breaking the ice I said I would try not to be too nervous, I began to play my guitar and sang from my heart strait to God; after all he is the one we should all be praising no matter what. They said I did amazing and that I shouldn’t be afraid to reveal my talents. We talked for quite bit and I could totally feel that God was holding me tightly in his hands. I stood up to leave as one of the judges shook my hand, feeling kind’ve bad I said I would shake all of their hands than decided to give them hugs if they wanted. So there I go giving hugs to each judge as we all smile and have a great time.
I hope that everything I did and the way I acted revealed my personality to the judges, and showed them what kind of person I am and who I would like to become.
So in the next couple of weeks I’ll be anticipating the arrival of two letters with the return address of Wayland Baptist University, hoping I received a few scholarships for music. I know that ware ever God wants me to go, financially everything will work out perfectly, and for now that’s what I’m clinging to. J
Through this experience its really taught me that sometimes you have to be willing to let God lead, because he will take you outside your boundary lines right ware you never thought you would ever go. I never planned on considering this school for college or even auditioning let alone for voice as well. I know that with God you can do anything and that there is never anything to fear.
Every day I put my trust in the Lord because He does take care of me and even though sometimes I can’t exactly see him, it doesn’t mean he isn’t with me; it just means he is in front leading me. Sometimes he’s up ahead and sometimes he’s right beside me caring me. So just as I have done never forget that He won’t leave you, he never has, and he never will.
God Bless and have a great week!!!!

The security that God has your back

2009-03-23T23:04:00.000-07:00

Man time is flying at the speed of light!!!! Spring break has come to a rap and I’m back at school trying to make the best of the time I have left. My senior year is almost over and I cannot believe this sight….. I used to think I would never be a senior in high school, awaiting the day I would get to start the next chapter in my life. I used to think it was so far away, that I would never get to that point in my life. Well I’m standing here today, my senior year, ready to take that leap into adulthood and a life filled with responsibilities. Fears flutter in and out of my mind as I debate the upcoming decisions I’m going to have to make in my life, such as college. It’s a scary thing to think about, moving out for the first time in your life, spreading your wings for the first time ever trusting that God has got your back; trying to decide what school is best for you and what school you could get the most out of, it’s all hard.

This year has been filled with prayers none stop that God would lead me in the right direction and that I would have the patience to lessen when He speaks to me. Like every child of God we all get distracted, discouraged, lost, joyful, and all those emotions that come with being saved; so I tell you that is why Christ died for us because he knew the world and he knew what it was capable of, he knew that the only way for us to get to the father was through him so he gave himself as a living sacrifice.

Just as Christ but his trust in God I put my trust in him that he will answerer my prayers in his time, and when he feels I’m ready. My future is scary to think about and my family is having a hard time with the fact that I’m growing up, but I trust that God will lead me and he will reveal his answers to me when my heart is ready to hear his calling for my life.

I know I want to make a difference in this world but the question is not when but how. God has the timing planned perfectly, so now, it’s my job to take action and use the gifts God has blessed me with. I hope that someday God will use my blog and my life, so that I may have an impact on someone’s life who, (with God’s help) “stumbles” over my page. When the time is right God will open the eyes of blind, speak to deaf, and lead those who are lost.

Sometimes things have to change...

2009-03-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

Ok so yesterday I was at my friends house after church and my sister asked me if I could share my testimony later that night before our hockey game. Scared I said "maybe" un sure as to if I could do it or not. So I planned what to say in my head and talked to God for a wile about it. I new that there would only be one way I could share my testimony; and that was if God could give me the words to say.

So there I stand in the middle of the room, scared, knowing that all these people are going to hear of the many struggles I've been through, seeing every eye fixed on me, I shut my eyes and began to share the testimony of my faith and the storms I've had to overcome to get to the point of which I'm at now; acting as if God was my only audience and that no one else was in the room.

God got me through this testimony and although it was hard I knew that God could use my words so that maybe someone could be set free from the pain they feel inside.

I want you to know that its okay to hurt, its okay to cry, its okay to admit that your having a hard time. The world has raised us to think that the way we feel on the inside is something to fear, but its not... God gave us feelings so that one day we could help someone with the same struggles as us.... Their are so many hurting people living behind the seance, putting on masks acting like everything is peachy but when in actuality they are hurting so much because they are so afraid of what the world would say if they expressed there true feeling. In return so many live are lost in the fall of the night because no one ever told them that they understood the hurt they felt, no one had a chance to say you can make it! their is HOPE!!!

Its time to stand and fight!!! We need to open up and let the world know that our generation is going to make a difference. It's time to put our trust in God and know that He will protect us through every battle we face. I am a servant of God and I I'm going to war!!! I am no longer afraid of what the world thinks of me, and I'll stand strong knowing that God is my rock and He is by my side every step of the way!!

I hope that whoever took the time to read this post takes my words to heart and is by my side ready to make a difference in this messed up world. I hope that you never forget that all things are possible when your on God's team.

=) May God bless you in everything you do for Him and His glory. =)

Armor of God

2009-02-26T12:23:00.001-08:00

Ok so I really can’t put into words how thankful I am to have such an awesome God who is not only funny but who loves me so much He would do anything for me.

Earlier yesterday I felt like a bomb just waiting for someone to come and push the button, then all of a sudden BOOM!!!!!!! There I go……

I was texting a friend and I told her how I was feeling and that I had no idea why I was feeling this way. And this is what she said:
“If you feel the effects of being shot at with an arrow you probably have been. Were there’s arrows there’s the one shooting them at you.”

Now to me those words seem very powerful but I didn’t quite understand the meaning of them. So she then said:
“Were there’s arrows there’s Satan.”

Now what a great story! Satan is the source of all negativity. He likes to stir up trouble from nothing without us even knowing about it. I was feeling like a bomb because I was drifting away from God. I wanted to be lazy and not read my bible but you see what happened, it made me start feeling awful and even worse than I would have felt if I would have just spent time with God. My friend said “You should use your shield and sword. Ephesians 6:10-20”

So that’s what I did I opened up my bible and I read Ephesians 6:10-20

The Whole Armor of God

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh [1] and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: [2] that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Gods Words are so powerful and can change your day in an instance if you just take a few minutes to spend time in His word or even just talking to Him. After I read this I felt so much better, I was being protected from Satan’s evil deceiving arrows. God is so amazing and I am so blessed to have Him as my Lord and savior.

Let's Shout His Glory Now!

2009-02-12T21:08:00.000-08:00

When Christ came to save us he left us with a pretty important task, to take his message to the very ends of the earth. It says in Mark 16:15 He said to them,” go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” The church was never met to be confined to four walls; it wasn’t supposed to be something that only happened on Sundays. We need to be wrapped up in our faith always reaching out to others, 24/7. Christians need to be tangled up in their faith and when I say tangled I mean a life spent pursuing a Christian angle in all that we do, in every word we speak, with every action we take, in every person we meat. We need to be more involved in our church, but that involvement shouldn’t end with a closing prayer we need to take it right out the church doors with us. God has given us all special gifts and talents so that we may be used for Gods plan. So don’t be afraid to take your faith outside the church I mean God wants us to do that. He wants us to shout his glory and share how he’s worked in our lives. We shouldn’t be afraid to tell our friends or family outside of church what God has done in your life. We should be celebrating it not hiding it. So if that’s something you struggle with I strongly encourage you to pray and ask God to give you strength and the courage to do this. I promise you if more Christians took their faith outside of the church we would have a much better chance to impact more people’s lives through Gods message.

2008-09-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

Always Light
By: Taylor M.

Beauty is the sun

Shedding light,

Upon the shadows of the night.

Bringing joy it showed

Finding it can fail,

But God has blessed us,

By giving us the light of the sun,
And by night
The sun shall set.

The shadows moving in,

With moon over head,

A hint of light

In the shadows of the night.

With Gods secret message,

That only some can read,

In the faint moon glow

Its God showing,
He will never leave.

God Is just so amazing and I can't help but want to spread his glory to the whole world. He has done so much for me, and a lot of the time I forget to thank him for all of the good stuff that he does do. A lot of the time I just ask for this and ask that, I mean that's not bad but I (we) need to also thank him as well. God is absolutely AMAZING!!!

Joy that cant be contained

2008-09-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

OK so for the past couple of weeks I've been really struggling with my relationship with JC and I've been pretty depressed. Yesterday was such an amazing day though and one of my friends called out to me for help. I could totally see God using me to help this friend of mine, and I felt so blessed and was in AW. God is just so amazing and on my way home from church last night I had a conversation with another friend who brought me home. I could also see God speaking through him to me, telling me what I needed to fix in my life. So after that I felt even more Aw struck. So I went to my room and just talked to God for an hour or so. It was so amazing I just sat there and started talking aloud all the stuff i was struggling with and talked to him about my friends who I love so dearly. I was so filled with his Glory and felt so restored that I couldn't contain my happiness! I asked God to show me that he was lessening to what I was saying and so I grabbed my bible and just opened it up. This was the first thing I read:

Psalm 3:3-4

3. But u r a shield around me, o Lord; u bestow glory on me and lift up my head. 4.To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill.

Now this was just so amazing bc this is exactly what God has been trying telling me all along. God is just so amazing and I have decided that i will no longer live in my old ways but start a new path living full out for God. Bc without him I wouldn't be able to defeat Satan's Evil temptations in my every day life. I will no longer sit on the fence but in fact i will be as far away from the fence that I can be.

OK well that's what I've officially decided since yesterday and i am just so happy. oh and here is a poem that I wrote today:

Full and Filled

By: Taylor McDonald

Full and filled is my heart of love

Because God has loved me

And is so amazing.

He has touched my life

Through the pain of another

And helped me realize,

Ware I've laid.

So with my new heart

I take the stand

And I decide today

That God is my way.

I shall never sit upon the fence again

I will never do what I've once done before.

For that is now my past

And God has my future in his hands.

God your in control now

Not Satan or anyone else

But YOU,

And that's how its always going to stay,

Full and filled is my heart of love

Because God has taken me

And nourished me to health.

Poetic License Carnival

2008-07-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

Here is my poems of the month for Robins poetic license carnival.
I had a lot of fun working on it. :)

Rain

The sweet aroma that hovers in the air,
Giving life to every breath you take.
Shedding knowledge on what is to occur
Feasting on the filth that is being washed away
Quenching the cold wet droplets plunging forth.
Hearing a pitter patter on things now wet,
Witnessing the transformation from dry to wet.

My Day

2008-07-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

Today when I got home from church after helping with Vacation Bible School (vbs) all week, I went and sat on the cool deck just looking out at my pool and relaxing, I soon began to see how the ripples made its reflections look really weird. I've notice it before but this just looked amazing and defiantly different then anything I've ever seen before so I decided to take a picture of it on my phone.

Now its not the best picture ever and u can really see the pixels but it is still an awesome pic.

2008-07-07T17:59:00.000-07:00

Made it Throught

By: Taylor McDonald

As the waves crash upon shore
As you stand before the one and only Lord
You wander if you’ve done things right,
And then he shows you a picture of your life.

You see everything
Including the tiny things
But there’s something different in this particular Seen.
Its just two words
But these two words can change everything
Jesus Christ is what you read
Written all over this horrible seen.

But then you wander what’s the point in this,
And you cover your face with total disgrace.
But then the Lord speaks again
In the voice that’s like a choirs melody.

He says,
My child your sins are many
But through my sons name,
He has covered yours and taken away your shame.
So I want to thank you for being honest and true
For in the end you have made it through!

Happily Ever After

2008-07-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

By: Taylor McDonald

These seven syllables or three words to be
Spells out a phrase
That we all can see.

Believe it or not
It’s up to you
But to me,
I believe it’s true!

Look at me and look at you
I can see it in some of you.

Look inside your heart,
Of wander and surprise
And you will find,
A key inscribed.

Inscribed with a cross so pure and true
Locking inside a surprise for me and you!

But to receive you must believe,
Believe that there really could be
A happy ending!

For everyone whose lost
And finds the cross
Always ends with a Happily Ever After!

Favorite Bible verse

2008-06-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.